I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i came on her dog
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
