please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
