ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
