he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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