I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
