He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
