Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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