Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
