think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
