Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
