im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
