Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
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