i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
