I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize