Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize