i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
