kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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