Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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