I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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