How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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