Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
