no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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