I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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