in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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