isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize