i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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