do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
