Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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