i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
