Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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