How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i think i have two assholes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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