I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
