IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every concussion has its silver lining
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize