you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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