Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
