we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize