Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
