Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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