there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
