Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
