he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm just crazy horny about you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
