fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
