OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
