that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
