Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
