Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
