dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
