My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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