My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
not ubering you a puppy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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