The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
