I have demons in me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
