I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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