just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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