dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize