If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize