update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
this will be a night to untag.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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