My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
