He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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