actually, I'm a sock model
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
